The Path Straight

These past two weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I've been packing, creating and testing a possible menu for the cafe, saying some goodbyes and just now it has hit me that I'm leaving in one week (ahhh!!! So much to do!) June 11th is my departure date and I will arrive in Tanzania early in the morning on the 13th. It's nearly a 27 hour commute to TZ and needless to say, I will be very happy once it's all over! Yesterday I had the chance to speak at the Oasis Church. It was more of a casual conversation about all that led up to this point of me serving in Tanzania. While talking with them, so many details in my journey jumped out at me as reminders that He has been in control this whole time! So many reminders! I have always known in my head that God was in control, but I think bringing all the details together at once was such a beautiful picture of His caring over even the smallest details of my life. When I was praying yesterday morning while getting ready, this verse came to mind: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your path" Proverbs 3:5-6. It's true. There were so many times when nothing made sense, the doors I thought were opened to me closed, and things became increasingly difficult. Now, being on the other side of that season, I can see God's hand in so many of those details preparing me for right now and things to come. The pastor of the Oasis told me after the service that my difficult season was a period of 'dying to myself'. It makes total sense. I had my plans, my dreams, and my course I was taking to get there. God, however, had other plans. Those closed doors were essential to getting me where He wanted me all along. So, if you are reading this and you are feeling discouraged right now, frustrated, or alone...know that God IS IN CONTROL, He is IN THE DETAILS, and He IS FAITHFUL. Give Him the desires of your heart, trust Him to do what He knows is best, and rest. Simply rest in knowing that '...He will make straight your path.'

Hill of Beans

In 2010 I was working 3 different jobs, volunteering at Convoy of Hope and going to school. I was one busy girl. Yet in the midst of this busy season, God began birthing a dream in my heart--Start a coffee shop.

Missions had always been my heart's desire and starting a coffee shop just didn't seem to fit into this plan. The more I tried to push this idea away, the stronger it became until I eventually started entertaining the idea. Researching costs, designing kiosks, and sketching up a logo consumed most of my free time but in the end the cost of everything forced me to put down this dream.

I remember praying, "Lord, I don't understand this intense desire to open a coffee shop AND to work in missions. I don't see how they will work together for me...I give these details to you. Use them as you want!" That very week I met with Charles and Tahnya Porter who invited me to do my internship with them in Tanzania. I asked him what they would have me do and he said, "Whatever you want! If you could do anything, what would it be?" My immediate response was to open a coffee shop (which I said with a roll of the eye knowing they would probably laugh). Charles and Tahnya looked at each other and told me they had been praying about opening up one for years, but didn't have anyone to lead it.

Two years after that dream birthed in my heart, I am now helping to open a ministry coffee shop in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. THIS is what the Lord had in mind when He purposefully placed that dream in my heart. I came across some of my original notes for my coffee kiosk. "Hill of Beans" was the name I thought of to mean that what little efforts I have will amount to something. Giving to missions was the heartbeat. Full circle. Dream fulfilled.

Details! Sweet Details!

A lot has happened since my last post! About 2 weeks ago, I found out that I will be able to return to Tanzania the beginning of June! What a surge of emotions I've been feeling! I've been excited and happy, but saying goodbye to family and friends never gets easier! What a blessing it has been to reconnect and visit with people I love!

This past week, I was given the opportunity to train and enhance my barista skills (an answer to a years worth of prayers)! With the help of my friend Phil, the Classic Rock Coffee Company opened their doors to me and allowed me to use their shop for training! Let me tell you, using all of their top of the line equipment was a dream!! I don't know how an espresso machine can make me so happy, but it does! lol Phil is the top trainer at CRCC and with his heart for missions, the training became even more helpful! 

More and more, little details continue to fall in place. From things needed, to prayers answered, to continued confirmations in my heart, the Lord has been reminding me that HE IS IN CONTROL. I love how He is a God of details.....such beautiful, sweet details.

Phil and the bean grinder.

Their custom made espresso machine!

My friend Chrystina came to visit!

Pulling a shot!

Bean roaster

The CRCC lounge

The Happy Trail

"A paper trail is a happy trail." - advice given me from the administrative assistant before me.

When an event was coming that our department sponsored, there didn't seem to be enough hours in the day to complete my work. By the end of the day, the top of my desk and my computer screen would be covered in color coded post-it notes, reminding me of all the little things I had to complete. When I finished completing one task, I would throw that note away and move onto the next one. What a satisfying feeling it was when there were only a handful of post-its left! Her advice to me really helped. As a matter of fact, it began to affect other areas of my life.

There are many times when I am at school, work, in a meeting, or alone that I will become overwhelmed with something or feeling burdened for someone. Grabbing whatever paper I could find or using my computer, I would quickly jot down a heartfelt prayer, tuck the paper away, and move on with the day. Most of the time I would forget about them, until much time had passed and I would come across the prayer I wrote. Since my time being home, I have been following a random 'paper trail' of prayers. Going through storage containers, old journals, through Bibles, old purses, in my jewelry box and even on my computer! All of them share a commonality- surrender and God's faithfulness.

Some of these prayers bring back the emotions with which they were written and others remind me of the prayers I am currently praying. Many of them I have come to see the Lord's hand on and His fulfillment of them. I see how He provided, how He led, and how He remained with me through tough times. With each paper on this trail I find, it brings with it hope and a knowing that God is still in control.

So remember, "A paper trail is a happy trail!" :0)

Love Deeper Than Love

I came across a post from a previous blog I once ran. It was posted about two years ago, when I was in a very low place in my life. On a cold December morning, while talking with Jesus,  He reminded me just how much He loved me:

"Deep as the darkest depths of the ocean, the end of my love will never be found. No despair of your heart too deep, that my love can't soothe. You are the gem that I seek, the treasure I've found. My love will never fail. 

Over the vastest of deserts, through the densest of forests, I will search for your wandering heart. I am the breath that fills your weakened lungs, the life pumping through your veins. Like the deepest warmth to your frozen bones, my love wraps you tight. Come live in me, with me, through me. Bask in the light of the Son.  For you are the gem that I seek, the treasure I've found. My love will never fail."

These words still move me the same as they did that day in my apartment....His love for me will never change. His love for YOU will never change. Ever.

I hope, for at least one person reading this, that the Lord will impress in your heart: I love you THAT MUCH!!!!

Within Reach

There is a hope, longing, and deep desire to return to Dar that I cannot fully explain and my heart is desperate to return! Many of you have been with me through my time serving in Sudan and know that my heart beats with a love for people and for missions...for people to KNOW the Hope that is Jesus! Isn't that what He desires, too? For the creation to know their Creator? For people to know and experience His forgiveness and love on a level deeper than any human mind could conceive?! For His name to be praised, called upon, and trusted in?

Yes, my heart longs to be where the Lord has led me to....doing what He's called me to do!

Truth is, I hate fundraising. If I could cover all my own expenses there, then I would in a heart beat! Asking people to support me is humbling, but I know that God often uses people to bless and help others along, all the while building their own faith! There have been many times when I was on the other side and a missionary was asking for my help. Knowing that God could further what little I had to give, I would pray over my five, ten, or twenty dollars and know many lives would be changed forever!

I am returning to Tanzania through the Assemblies of God World Missions organization and they set the budget I must raise. They set a cash budget and a monthly pledge budget (although, all could be raised in cash if needed). I am very happy to say that I have raised the cash budget portion!!! All that's needed now is $1800 in monthly pledges (committing to sponsor me for a number of dollars each month I am working in Dar)! If 100 people pledged only $18 a month, all my needs would be met! I am so close to purchasing my ticket to return!

Today, I ask if you would be willing to pledge towards the work God is doing and going to do in Tanzania. I know what He's able to do with little and I know what He's able to do with great....all things! If you would like to help, you can donate or pledge directly to my sending organization. 100% of all donations goes directly to fulfilling my budget.

https://secure1.ag.org/contributions/index.cfm   Enter: Schoening  or 2937993 to access my account.

I want to thank you for your support and encouragement through this new chapter of my life! 

With Love,

Holly Schoening

Keeping the 'Main Thing'

While working in Sudan, my supervisor consistently reminded the team, "Keep the Main Thing, the main thing!" Meaning, keep Jesus the main focus of what you're doing.

Today I am reminded how easy it is to become distracted in the daily 'ins and outs' of life,  even in ministry. Becoming so focused on getting a promotion at work, making more money, feeding the hungry, hosting life-impacting events, doing street ministry, and even fundraising...can easily distract us from what is truly important. Fact is, when we leave Jesus out of the equation we are only applying a band-aid to the situation or life. It might be good, it might help the people around you, but only momentarily. Jesus is the only one who will change a life, an eternity, forever.

While in Sudan, I was a teacher. I LOVED what I did, I LOVED every child that I taught, and I gave all the LOVE I could wring out of me to impact the lives of kids I knew were hurting. I tried many ways to love them and make them feel the value I knew they had....I used to cry myself to sleep at night because my heart hurt for the children who were in abusive homes, neglected, and told they had little value because of their gender or disability. I was at my wits end on what to do to help these children and one night while crying out to God, He gently spoke to my heart: "Holly, they don't need a mother figure....they need me." I had become so focused on loving them and telling them how much value they had (which is not bad), but neglected to fully share with them the only One who could bring healing to their hurt and wholeness to their brokenness. The realization that I was doing good, but missing the 'mark' stung at my heart, but it's truth sank deep and branded the way I think. Friends, do not think that I am telling you we should not do great things, strive for the best, or help the hurting....but remember to keep the Main Thing, the main thing. Remember to keep Jesus the main focus of all we are doing.

....because He is the only one who can do everything about anything.

Smudged Fingerprints

"You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving." - Amy Carmichael

At the end of my life, I want to know that I used all my God-given passions, gifts, and abilities to make a positive impact on the world around me. Right now, that opportunity is living and working in Tanzania.

The past few years of my life have prepared me for this opportunity: job experiences, desires of my heart, research, creative ideas, and more! So many things pointed to this opportunity offered me, that I could not refuse. I've always prayed, "God, direct the details of my life and leave your fingerprints smudged all over them that I could not deny it was you!" This is one of those 'fingerprint smudged' moments!

Continuing working with the youth group will be a priority, as well as ministry with children and young adults, but the main project I'll be helping with is the start of a brand new ministry coffee cafe! God definitely smiled on me when He combined two of my favorite things: coffee and missions! The cafe will be placed in the center of a busy, growing city of over 3 million people! Dar is home to over 10 universities and colleges and is an entrepreneur hotspot! The Lord miraculously provided the building space we will be using and in a brand new business complex that would have been way too expensive for us to rent! (again...'fingerprint smudges').

My heart is blessed and humbled that God would give me such a wonderful opportunity....even more that His hand is on the details of my life!

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
    when he delights in his way.." Psalm 37:23

Moments Like These...

This morning when I checked my Facebook account, a majority of posts were from missionary friends, pastors, and individuals who are living their lives to the fullest- following Jesus. My beautiful friends from the Czech Republic, ministering and pastoring in their communities...my heart swells with joy at every thought of you! My friends in Uganda, loving and enriching the lives of children and their families...my family at The Ocean Church in Dar es Salaam, impacting the community using every gift and talent God has given you. My heart couldn't feel any fuller than it does right now! To all of you, press on and follow hard after Him who has called you!

It is moments like these, that cause me to remember all that Christ has done in my life. Where He has brought me from and where He has taken me to, truly leaves me speechless. If I had a moment of your time, an hour of your day, a month of your year, I do not think I could fit in all the minute details of a powerful God in the life of a girl like me (and those are just the details I can see!). When I was a Junior in High School, I decided that I didn't want to play the 'Christian Game' anymore; to appear christian on Sunday and live the life I was living during the week, rubbed raw at my conscience. I saw the life the missionary guests at church lived, I saw the life of individuals who truly lived for Christ around me and I desperately wanted to feel...TO LIVE....that alive! 

People think 'giving your life to Christ' is losing control of your own destiny, enslaving yourself to a list of laws and regulations. The greatest life decision I could ever have made was to give over my 'control' that was limiting my destiny, to an all loving, powerful God who tells us to trust Him and expect a great and unimaginable life that only He can give. Yes, my destiny is extremely better than I could ever have made it to be. It was a decision based off of need and the more time I spent knowing Him through His Word and prayer, the more my heart started to desire what God desired. Jesus says in the New Testament that the greatest commandment is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor. Here's the kicker.....He fills your heart with that Love! 

Jesus, brought me from a hypocritical self-righteous fool, to a still imperfect woman who is covered by His grace and mercy and who is filled with love for the world. His love, His grace, His mercy....all because I became His. He continues to amaze me when He is fulfilling in my life the very desire He placed there at the age of 15: World Missions. I can't help but weep at the gratefulness and thankfulness I feel. He has called me to 'go' and my heart, with all that is in me, cries 'YES!'.

What a sweet, satisfying life I have lived....and the best is yet to come!

1 Corinthians 2:9
But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.”

A Mile Marker Prayer

The New Year has always been one of my favorite times of the year. It continues to serve as a 'mile marker' in my life; a point on life's road where you can see where you've come from and see what direction you're going. This marker in the road cannot tell you what lies ahead on the journey, what to expect, or even when the road ends, but it can set hopeful expectations. As a Christ follower, we are told that we should expect great things:

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

These great things are not based off of how well we perform in life, how little we've sinned, or how used our Bible looks. Jesus, His grace, and the life He imagined for us are purely out of His mercy, grace, and great love for us.

I remember a specific worship service at Living Waters Assembly several years ago, that became the turning point for the direction of my life. The piano was playing, the sanctuary was full of people, and this particular worship song began to strum across the strings of my heart. With arms outstretched, I began to sing the words from my heart:

"You said ask and I'll give the nations to you

Oh Lord, thats the cry of my heart

Distant shores and the islands will see your light

as it rises on us...You said, Your glory will fill the earth

like water to seas. You said "Lift up your eyes the harvest is here the kingdom is near"

This was my hearts response to the desires God had been placing there...and a moment of surrender to His perfect will. That moment dramatically changed the course of my life, as I would soon after serve in Khartoum, Sudan for 2 years, pursue a ministry degree, and continue to serve where the Lord has led me: Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

It has not been the smoothest of journeys, but the most memorable and heart fulfilling all while knowing His hand has been leading. I look back at moments where I questioned whether His hand was even there, but only time would prove He was in every detail.

I welcome you to follow along in this journey with me, I ask you to pray along side of me, and I invite you to invest in what lies ahead!

Would consider sponsoring me? My budget to return to Dar es Salaam is a steep $30,000, which covers medical, housing, living expenses, transportation, etc for a little over a year. I am returning through the Assemblies of God World Missions organization (http://worldmissions.ag.org/regions/africa). Please contact me at 81jameela@gmail.com if you have any questions for would like to make a donation directly to AGWM in my account.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and joining me in this journey!